Return of the Borg
by USAgent
Summary: The crews of Enterprise and DS9 unite to defeat the Borg.


An Epic Story is about to begin...  
  
WARNING: The characters, stories and incidents mentioned in this work are completely fictional and in no way does it suggest that the events in this work will take place in the end of the 24th century.  
  
Now our story begins....  
  
Opening scene: Shot of lower ionosphere of a red giant star. Solar flare erupts, and a small circular shape cruises underneath the prominence. Pan shot of a ship that is cubical.  
  
Planet scene: (Typical "Next Generation" painting with computer enhancement.) People are living an ordinary peaceful existence on planet Tau Seti Alpha I. Some children run across the screen. A group of people are sitting in a wooded park. Suddenly a bottle is upset on a picnic table.  
  
Alien 1: Look Orbulus! It's the Borg!  
  
The sceen starts shaking as the buildings start to collapse...  
  
Alien 2: The ships! Get to the ships, it's our only chance!  
  
They run for the ships, as the planet is ripped to shreds by the Borg. The Borg destroy the planet and all but one of the ships fleeing into warp. Apparantly satisfied, the Borg leave and continue on their way searching for more targets...  
  
Title / Credits:  
  
Twilight Zone music is played.  
  
The camera pans past the earth as the Borg are invading!  
  
Narrator: At the end of the 24st century, Earth is invaded by the Borg!  
  
Narrator: Not even the heroic efforts of Starfleet can stop them, until a command by Locutus/Picard tells them to sleep... This time however, the Borg are not destroyed, only dormant...  
  
Music fades...  
  
Star Trek the next generation music with the Enterprise moving past the screen.  
  
Picard's ready room, Enterprise.  
  
Picard: Stardate 6.533 - 911. Captain's Log. We are on route to the Dominion homeworld to negotiate assistance in our war against the Borg, who are a dangerous threat to Earth, even while dormant.  
  
Riker: Every time I look into a monitor and see the Borg, it just makes me so furious I could...I could...  
  
Picard: We don't know why the command didn't work this time...This is why we've got to get additional firepower so we can outmuscle the Borg.  
  
Riker: Your days are numbered Borg!  
  
exits  
  
Meanwhile, at Deep Space Nine  
  
The Enterprise has docked and the crew are discussing the situation in Sisko's ready room.  
  
Picard: The Dominion can not always be trusted. Therefore, I would request your permission to use the Defiant for this mission.  
  
Sisko: I know what you mean. With the Defiant's cloaking device you could escape if the situation got sticky. Will you be in charge of the mission?  
  
Picard: The Enterprise must undergo an investigation into the mysterious disappearance of Tau Seti Alpha I, so I am assigning Commander Riker and Lieutenant Commander Deanna Troi to this task. Lieutenant Commander Troi can use her empathic powers to assist in the negotiations.  
  
Sisko: Very well... The Defiant will be ready when you need it.  
  
The Enterprise exits dock and enters warp.  
  
On the Defiant  
  
Riker: All right! Let's get this show on the road!  
  
Crew: Yes Sir!  
  
On route...  
  
Ensign: Sir we are picking up a localised field disturbance three thousand light years ahead of us.  
  
Riker: Any ideas?  
  
Ensign: Can't say for certain sir. The sensor readings aren't clear enough. However, we are picking up a sizable mass. We have a weak visual.  
  
Riker: On screen... Magnify... Magnify... Magnify... !!!  
  
A small cube appears in the centre of the screen.  
  
Riker: OH NO!!! It's the Borg!!! Red Alert! Reverse course, maximum warp! Activate the cloaking devi-!  
  
Troi: They're closing Will!  
  
Riker: Initiate evasive pattern Riker Omega three...  
  
Explosion  
  
Ensign: Direct hit! Shields holding.  
  
Engineering lieutenant: Port shields at 30% sir! We can't take too much more of this!  
  
Another explosion. A panel explodes and a blue uniform is flung accross the bridge. Riker takes his position.  
  
Riker: Cloak dammit!  
  
Troi: Cloaking device not responding!  
  
Riker: Return fire, modulate the phaser and shield harmonics!  
  
Explosion and sparks on the bridge. Officer in Deep Space Nine uniform (Whom you've never seen and will never see again) is killed.  
  
Engineer: No visible effect sir!  
  
Riker: Launch aft torpedoes!  
  
Defiant launches aft torpedoes. The little damage done is quickly repaired.  
  
Ensign: Borg returning fire!  
  
Another big explosion! Outside... a hole has been blown through the hull.  
  
Ensign: Shields down! Ablative armour has been compromised!  
  
Riker: Engineering report!  
  
Engineer: Sir, there are plasma leaks on decks two three and five. Attempting to reroute primary power to the secondary plasma grid.  
  
Ensign: Hull breach on deck one!  
  
Riker: Casualties!  
  
Troi: They're coming in from all over the ship!  
  
Security officer: From what we know of the Borg, they'll be sending over boarding parties!  
  
Riker: Right. Activate anti-Borg protocols, level five! Force fields on stand by.  
  
Engineer: Sir! Primary power back on line. Commander! It's the Borg. Jamieson is trying to seal off the - Ahhhhrrrggggg! Assimilate this you- Ahhhhhrrrrgggg!! (static - more sounds of phaser fire and the occasional "resistance is futile")  
  
Riker: Ensign set a course back to Deep Space Nine and transmit this message. "This ship has been taken over by the Borg! Destroy it immediately and prepare for an attack!" Perhaps with the new defence grid, the station may be able to fend off the Borg.  
  
Ensign: Yes sir! But shouldn't we lead the Borg away from the station?  
  
Borg beam aboard the bridge  
  
Riker: Cover me! (Riker runs towards the conn while firing valiantly with his phaser!)  
  
Borg 1: You will be assimilated.  
  
Borg 2: Resistance is futile.  
  
The ensign rushes forward with his phaser at the ready but is felled by the lead Borg. Smoke gushes from his charred uniform. Riker is hit by a stray phaser blast and falls to the ground. Is this the end? But wait! From behind a console, Deanna Troi whips around the chair with a phaser in each hand. Firing alternately, she devastates the Borg. The remaining Borg survey their handiwork... Riker who is only slightly wounded, grabs the closest Borg's leg and gasps...  
  
Riker: No....  
  
Borg: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. (Translation: What he really is saying is "Heroic nonsense")  
  
A thumping sound is heard on the bridge. It is none other than the Energizer Bunny!  
  
Borg: You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.  
  
The bunny ignores him and continues on its mindless path no matter what the Borg do to it...Just as the Borg appear to have vanquished the bunny, they suddenly grow weak...  
  
Borg: (opens up his chest and stares in horror at Supervolt batteries) Noooo!!!  
  
The Borg are rendered inactive, unable to recharge their batteries. The ship continues on its course... to Deep Space Nine, while all of a sudden, a booming voice out of nowhere says "Energizer...it just keeps going and going and..."  
  
Meanwhile on Deep Space Nine in OPS  
  
Nameless Bajoran Face (who by the way in a couple of minutes will be walking with the Prophets): Commander, we have an incoming message from the Defiant. It is extremely weak, audio only!  
  
Riker: This ship has been ta -sizzle- troy it -sizzle- med -sizzle- and prepare for -sizzle-  
  
Sisko: Try boosting the signal strength.  
  
O'Brien: Aye sir. This is the best that I can get it.  
  
Sisko: Can they receive?  
  
Kira: Don't know.  
  
Sisko: Sisko to Defiant, your signal is very weak, can you repeat your message. I repeat, your signal is too weak, can you repeat.  
  
Kira: I'm afraid it's no good...  
  
Sisko: OPS to Bashir... (Almost a minute later) Hmm...no response. Computer, location of Dr. Bashir??  
  
Computer: Dr. Bashir is in the Infirmary.  
  
Sisko: Strange...I wonder why he's not responding. Oh well, must be something important.  
  
Meanwhile, in the Infirmary...  
  
Dax and Dr. Bashir are on a biobed kissing passionately, much like that bedroom scene in If Wishes Were Horses.  
  
Bashir: (understandably a little disoriented) I think I just heard Captain Sisko call me on the comm.(starts to get up...)  
  
Dax: I didn't hear anything. (Starts to kiss him again)  
  
Bashir: (pulls away a bit) Are you sure? I think I heard something, and it could have been important.  
  
Dax: Julian, if it had been important, then Benjamin would have called me to OPS right? And he hasn't, so it was probably nothing anyway.  
  
Bashir: You're right as alway.....mm!!! (Dax grabs him and pulls him back down onto the biobed, kissing him)  
  
Bashir: OW!!  
  
Dax reaches behind him and finds a communicator pin.  
  
Dax: Oh, it's just your comm pin. You won't be needing that.  
  
Dax tosses the pin behind her back and yanks Bashir back onto the biobed. The pin flies through the Infirmary door where it is trampled upon and immediately destroyed by hordes of Bajorans who are rioting..but then what's new??  
  
A lone communicator pin lies in Dr. Bashir's office, where Julian tossed it in a excited frenzy upon greeting Dax, who came by for her daily, um check- up. A rumpled uniform lies nearby. As to whose that belongs to is anybody's guess.  
  
Sisko: Sisko to Dax, Sisko to Dax..  
  
Sisko's voice echoes dully in the office. Pan to a reflection in the window to Dr. Bashir's office where we see Dax and Dr. Bashir engaged in passionate love-making.  
  
Meanwhile on the Promenade.  
  
Jake: Hey Nog! It's great that you got off work already! How's it going?  
  
Nog: It's pretty boring. Uncle Quark says it's not worth living if you can't rake in the latinum, and he's not paying me.  
  
Jake: The Defiant is about to come in. Why don't we go find Lieutenant Commander Worf? We can go bug him about how his forehead is shaped like a walnut!  
  
Nog: Sounds great! Isn't that him coming now?  
  
Jake: Hey, Lieutenant Commander!  
  
Nog: (whispers) Walnuthead.  
  
Jake and Nog snicker.  
  
Worf: (frowning) I am extremely busy. What do you want?  
  
Jake: I was wondering whether you could let us into one of the upper docking pylons so we could watch the Defiant come through the wormhole?  
  
Worf: (looking constipated) I cannot let you go unsupervised. That would be against the protocol, and as everyone knows, Klingons always go by the protocol or ritually kill themselves. I myself am not ready to die yet.  
  
Jake: But...  
  
Worf: But... (grudgingly) I do have to do a maintenance check on the tactical station. You may watch the wormhole from there.  
  
Jake and Nog: Great!  
  
At tactical.  
  
The wormhole opens and out comes the Defiant...  
  
Jake and Nog: Ooooohhh!!!  
  
Jake: Wait a minute! Isn't that a hole?  
  
Nog: Worf! There's a hole in the Defiant!  
  
Worf: Let me see. hmmm.. There is a hole. (he taps his badge) Worf to Defiant. Defiant come in. -growl- taps his badge again - Worf to OPS. There is a hole in the Defiant's hull and I cannot contact them, what are your instructions?  
  
Sisko: WHAT!!! Put it on the viewscreen! And I mean NOW!  
  
O'Brien: Magnification at maximum!  
  
Kira: Aren't those...  
  
O'Brien: Oh no, it's the BORG!  
  
(Author's note: The Borg have not left the ship because their batteries ran out, and they couldn't get back to their ship in time to recharge them, occupied by the Energizer bunny as they were.)  
  
Sisko: Scan for any survivors... Activate defence grid...  
  
Nameless Bajoran Face: Two survivors sir, Commander Riker and Lieutenant Commander Troi...  
  
Sisko: Beam them up!  
  
O'Brien: Aye sir.  
  
A shimmering light, and Troi and Riker are beamed to OPS, scratched, dirty and exhausted, but nonetheless in one piece.  
  
Sisko: That ship is infested with Borg. We have no choice but to destroy it. Lock on phasers... fire!  
  
The station fires on the crippled Defiant... it explodes with spectacular results....  
  
Jake and Nog: Ooooooohhhh!!!  
  
Sisko: Stand down from Red Alert!  
  
Nameless Bajoran Face: Uh sir, there's another ship coming through the wormhole...  
  
Sisko: Now what! The Dominion?  
  
O'Brien: Negative on that... It's a larger ship then the ones that the Dominion use Captain, by about 50 times!!!  
  
Kira: You don't suppose...  
  
A Borg cruiser class vessel bursts forth from the wormhole. It drifts slowly and menacingly towards Bajor, ignoring the station for now...  
  
Kira: By the Prophets... It's heading for Bajor!!!  
  
Sisko: Oh my God, another Wolfe 359! All personnel, battle stations, this is not a drill. Activate anti-Borg protocols class 9 omega. We must try to delay them at all costs...  
  
Panicking Bajorans run around the station screaming for no apparent reason. Odo steps out of his office and does his trademark scowl. Hordes of Bajoran security dressed in bland uniforms crowd the Promenade clutching phaser rifles protectively. Dax and Dr. Bashir are unable to hear Captain Sisko's warning as neither of them have their comm badges handy, and so are blissfully unaware of what is going on around them. Besides, both of them are a bit occupied in each other at the moment...and have been for the last couple hours...  
  
Quark ushers a complaining Morn out of the bar and locks it using technology more sophisticated than anything anyone has ever seen before.  
  
The station opens fire with a spread of modified photons and phaser blasts. The photons are modified with chemical warheads as well as deuterium to destroy the Borg's biological structure, along with many phaser bursts. The Borg ship turns ponderously and returns fire, heading towards the station...  
  
Kira: Look's like we got their attention.  
  
O'Brien: I hope you know what you're doing, sir.  
  
Explosion  
  
O'Brien: We've sustained a direct hit!  
  
Garak: Of course it would be hard to miss a STATIONARY target!!!  
  
Sisko: Where did you come from? Never mind that, take over the tactical display. We need all the help we can get.  
  
Garak: Happy to be of assistance.  
  
Nameless Bajoran Face: Shields are buckling sir!  
  
OPS rocks as sparks fly from the consoles. The nameless Bajoran officer is thrown backward with a scream.  
  
Kira: Shields have failed. Fires on decks 23, 34 and 50. Casualties coming in all over the station!  
  
O'Brien: The Borg have infiltrated decks 5 , 7 , 3 ... I can't keep track of all of them!  
  
Sisko: This is it!!  
  
Battle on the Promenade:  
  
Deep Space Nine Security officers led by Odo fight valiantly against the Borg but are losing...Suddenly with a Klingon battle cry, Worf leaps into the fray of the battle wielding his bat'leth. Momentarily the tide of battle shifts... but only momentarily as the element of surprise wears off....  
  
Odo: I don't know how long we can hold them off. For every Borg we kill, ten more show up!  
  
Quark: (brandishing a huge phaser rifle in front of his bar) First the Cardassians, then the Federation, then the Dominion, then the Klingons, and now the Borg! How's a Ferengi supposed to make an honest living around here? These Borg are the worst! Not only will they not buy any drinks, but they want to trash my bar as well! Well not today. (blast blast)  
  
Meanwhile back on OPS  
  
Sisko: Well everyone, destroying this station may be the only way of delaying the Borg. It's been good working with you.  
  
Everyone: Same to you captain.  
  
Kira: This is really it, isn't it?  
  
O'Brien: Wait! The Enterprise is coming out of warp! We might have a chance yet!  
  
The Enterprise comes out of warp. She is not alone. Two Galaxy class starships come out of warp shortly after and prepare for battle.  
  
On the Enterprise bridge  
  
Picard: Destroy the Borg!  
  
The ships open fire at the Borg ship and the Borg return fire.  
  
Picard: I will take an away team down to Deep Space Nine to relieve pressure there. It looks like they've taken quite a beating. Lieutenant Commander Data, you have the bridge.  
  
Data: Aye sir.  
  
Back at OPS...  
  
Picard and his away team beam down on OPS. Two of the officers in red uniforms are instantly killed.  
  
Picard: The Borg must be stopped.  
  
Music: "You got the touch" (From Transformers: the Movie) begins.  
  
Picard rushes into the fray. In a close up view of his comm badge you see the reflection of a Borg grow closer and closer. He is knocked out of the way by Picard as he leaps into the air with his phaser rifle. He fires multiple shots leaving a trail of dead Borg in his wake...  
  
Borg: We are Borg... You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.  
  
Picard: One will stand, and one will fall.  
  
Borg: You will be assimilated.  
  
The Borg raises it's weapon arm but Picard knocks it aside. The Borg falls back and a wicked energy blade is projected from its right arm... Picard brandishes an arm from a fallen borg and smashes the Borg's right arm off. Without weapons, Picard and the Borg are locked in Mortal Kombat. However, Picard lacks the Borg's mechanical constitution and the Borg gains the upper hand. Picard falls to his knees.  
  
(Finish Him!)  
  
Borg: You will be assimilated.  
  
Picard: NEVER!!!!!  
  
Picard uppercuts the borg using an ancient martial arts technique, killing it instantly.  
  
The Borg, outnumbered, outgunned and outskilled in ancient martial arts techniques begin to retreat. (I mean how mobile can you be in the heavy dark metal suits like the ones they wear? They can barely totter around much less throw punches...) Outside, their ship is taking heavy damage. (But not as bad as the Federation have taken) However, Klingon Birds of Prey and Cardassian ships have come as relief forces. The Borg ship (or what's left of it) runs runs runs and runs away. (Author's note: Why they run away... The Borg are superior in every way to their adversaries right? Well they have two problems. Many of them were killed in the fight with Picard weakening their regenerative strength in their ship. Second, they are fighting a losing battle against the energizer bunny who invaded their ship. Bet you thought it died on the Defiant. No such luck. Remember, it keeps going and going and...By the way, Sisko's new biological weapon only targeted a small portion of the Borg, the rest were immune to it)  
  
Worf: Picard did it! He turned the tide of battle.  
  
But the price is high.... Will Picard rise again? Of course! Modern Medicine knows no bounds! All of the officers' wounds are healed by Doctor Crusher and her skilled medical teams. Dr. Bashir of course being occupied by other more um pressing duties.  
  
Meanwhile in space......  
  
The Borg ship drifts in ruins and comes across the planet-eater..  
  
Borg: Oh shi-  
  
The Borg ship is consumed by the planet-eater which continues on its way.  
  
Enterprise:  
  
Captain's Log: With the return of the Borg, we must deliver the new biological weapons created at Deep Space Nine to Earth for further upgrading. We do not know when the Borg may strike again, but only hope that they will be effective against the dormant Borg.  
  
On the bridge:  
  
Data: Captain, we have reached Earth!  
  
Picard: Hmm...so we have. Dr. Crusher, are the biological weapons ready?  
  
Crusher: sorry sir, not yet  
  
Wesley: (in a weasely voice) Captain, captain! I've got an idea!!  
  
Picard: (suddenly develops a migraine) What is it Wease- I mean Wesley?  
  
Wesley: Well, since I'm the one who always saves the ship around here, I think that I should be the one in charge of this mission...  
  
Picard: (face turns beet red) WHAT????  
  
Wesley: I mean, I'm a genius right? Besides, I'll come up with an idea that'll make the Borg wish they had never left home!  
  
Riker: (groaning) Wesley makes me wish I had never joined Starfleet.  
  
Picard: (face lights up) That's it! You're a genius!!  
  
Wesley: (in a smug voice) I know.  
  
Picard: (glaring at Wesley) I didn't mean you. Good work Number One.  
  
Riker: Uh, thanks.  
  
Picard: Picard to Engineering. What's the largest size photon torpedo that we have?  
  
Geordi: Um, about 6 feet long and 1 foot wide, but that's including the casing.  
  
Picard: Could a normal sized individual fit into it?  
  
Geordi: I suppose so, but it would be a tight fit..I mean there's the deuterium and the...  
  
Picard: Excellent Geordi. Comfort is NOT a concern...Please prepare a photon torpedo. (Turns to Wesley) Wesley, I've got a mission for you.  
  
Wesley: (jumping up and down) Oh goody oh goody oh goody! I knew you'd pick me Captain, since I'm so much more evolved than the rest of the crew! What do you want me to do?  
  
Picard: (an evil glint in his eyes) Come with me.  
  
In Engineering  
  
Geordi: I guess I was wrong...he just won't fit.  
  
Wesley is squirming inside the torpedo.  
  
Wesley: Ow, ow, I can hardly breathe...  
  
Picard: That's the point. (Turns to Geordi) Can you put the cover back on?  
  
Geordi: (glances at the photon torpedo) Hmm....(picks up a plunger and shoves Wesley even farther in the torpedo) Wow! That worked better than I expected. Yup, I can do it now.  
  
Picard: (grinning broadly) Excellent work Geordi, you deserve a promotion for this one!  
  
Back on the Bridge  
  
Picard: Launch the modified torpedo at the Borg  
  
Data: Torpedo is launched.  
  
View of a torpedo with Wesley inside as it shoots toward the Borg ship. It hits the Borg ship. Seconds later a horrible scream from the Borg is heard...and the Borg ship blows up into a million pieces.  
  
The bridge crew cheers and sings nyah nyah nyah nyah, hey hey...good bye!  
  
Riker: (shaking head) That's ingenious Captain. It looks like they couldn't even tolerate him at all.  
  
Picard: Yes, that weasel is even worse than a disease or for that matter the Borg. I just hope his mother doesn't mind..  
  
Dr. Crusher appears, exiting the turbolift. She is holding a bottle of champagne.  
  
Crusher: ITS PARTY TIME!!  
  
Troi: You mean you're not mad that Wesley is...  
  
Crusher: Why should I be mad? I could never stand that little weasel...  
  
The bridge crew breaks out into a cheer! Balloons are released and streamers float everywhere...Music suddenly erupts out of nowhere. The Dancing Doctor starts to demonstrate some moves and Picard joins in.  
  
Riker: (To Troi) Would you care to dance?  
  
Troi: (smiling) I'd love to...by the way, just thought I'd tell you that Worf meant nothing to me...  
  
Riker: (grinning) GOOD...  
  
Data: (cocking head) hm?  
  
Geordi goes up to Data and sticks a party hat on him.  
  
Deep Space Nine.  
  
Quark's Bar.  
  
Quark: So... What'll be.  
  
Morn: Red banyos. Three of them.  
  
A Punk is leaving the bar.  
  
Punk 2: Hey you shouldn't take that stuff! It'll stunt your growth!  
  
Quark: How many times do I have to tell you punks? At least he's a paying customer!  
  
Punk 2: Then I won't tell him what's in it huh!?!  
  
Quark: Some people...  
  
E.T.: E.T. phone home....  
  
Quark: The phone's over there.  
  
The stumpy alien waddles awkwardly towards a conspicuously twentieth century phone recessed in the corner of the bar...  
  
At OPS/  
  
Dax and Dr. Bashir are in a turbolift, their hands still all over each other. The OPS crew stare in fascination. Dr. Bashir, realizing that they've reached OPS, pulls away sheepishly. Dax merely smiles and nods at everyone.  
  
Bashir: Um, you called me Captain?  
  
Sisko: That was 4 HOURS ago!  
  
Bashir: Oh, sorry...I got a little delayed.  
  
Dax: (Poking her head from behind Bashir and smiling brightly) Hi Benjamin! Did I miss anything?  
  
Sisko: !!!  
  
Dax takes her post and drags Bashir behind her.  
  
Dax: (whispers loudly) Wait till I get through with you tonight. I have this Holosuite program that involves you, me and some..oh wait, I'll let you find out.  
  
Dax grinning wickedly kisses him again to the amusement of the entire OPS crew. Sisko grabs a mini camcorder and starts filming the whole scene while Quark leads a group of extremely interested ambassadors to OPS and starts selling refreshments. "Peanuts, Popcorn..." Worf motions Quark over and buys a tall, cool, refreshing glass of....PRUNE JUICE?!?! Bashir, his face now a bright beet red, looks around at the crew, feeling extremely embarrassed and self-conscious. A silly grin is on his face. O'Brien winks and smiles back at him in encouragement. Dax, however, is unfazed by the incredulous looks she is receiving from Kira. Then again, almost nothing seems to bother her.  
  
Dax: An Unidentified Flying Object is heading our way at warp speed. Our sensors are at their maximum range and can't identify it yet.  
  
Sisko: Oh great, this is all we need right now. More trouble! Chief, how are our repairs?  
  
O'Brien: I have the repair crews working double shifts. It's looking good sir. All the power conduits have been repaired, weapons and shields are on- line. We'll return to optimum station operation in three hours.  
  
Sisko: Excellent. Dax, keep an eye on our visitor.  
  
Dax: (thinking that he means Bashir) You got it Benjamin. She pulls him on top of her, leans back against her console, and starts kissing him again.  
  
Voice from off camera: Excuse me sir.  
  
Sisko turns to meat face to face with a middle aged man and a woman dressed in 20th century Earth clothing.  
  
Mulder: I'm Agent Mulder of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and this is my partner, Agent Scully. I heard you mention an UFO. I'd like to ask you a few questions.  
  
Sisko: Get them off here now!  
  
Two security guards flank Mulder.  
  
Worf: You will leave now.  
  
Mulder: I know all about you... You're trying to cover it up, but I know all about you!  
  
Scully: ...  
  
Mulder is forcibly removed from OPS.  
  
Sisko: Put him in the brig. We'll figure out what to do with him later...  
  
Scully follows them out  
  
Sisko: Seriously. Where do all these people come from?  
  
Kira: Object reaching sensor range.... It's it's it's... I don't know what it is!  
  
Sisko: Hail them. This is the Federation station Deep Space Nine. Do you copy.  
  
Kira: There's no response.  
  
O'Brien: They're heading towards docking pylon 3. Should we let them proceed?  
  
Sisko: Send security up to pylon 3 just in case they are hostile. I want to be ready for anything.  
  
Kira: Captain! There is a life form similar to those on the ship waiting in pylon 3! I believe the life form is trying to return to its people!  
  
Sisko: We'll see what happens.  
  
E.T.'s ship docks. E.T. returns to his ship and they fly off into the wormhole.  
  
Sisko: Well that's that! I heard that the Borg on Earth have been destroyed, and I heard that the Founders have turned to Jell-o. Maybe things will get back to normal now!  
  
Off the screen: Hi! Would you like to hear about great savings on home and auto insurance? It's really quite simple. All you need is a phone call to Grey Pow-  
  
Sisko: Have this man removed NOW!  
  
Sisko turns to Dax and Dr. Bashir, still in a passionae frenzy on the console.  
  
Sisko: Can't you two do that elsewhere?  
  
Bashir: There's always my quarters.  
  
Sisko: Then PLEASE go there now. OPS is no place for that sort of thing!  
  
Dax and Bashir leave. The angry OPS crew start throwing everything they can get their hands on at Sisko.  
  
Sisko: (overwhelmed as he dodges a tricorder, and countless numbers of peanuts) What? What did I do? Besides, its not like that's the first time that something like this has happened. Chief, I bet you a drink at Quark's that before the week is over, they'll be on her console again.  
  
O'Brien: You've got yourself a bet Captain. Oh and make that 2 drinks.  
  
Sisko: Deal.  
  
Sisko is suddenly hit by a baseball and knocked unconscious.  
  
Kira: (Holding an armful of things to throw) Oops, sorry. I didn't know that we were done throwing things at him...Maybe we should call Dr. Bashir back...  
  
O'Brien: Nah, its not worth the trouble. The Captain'll be fine in a bit...  
  
Hours later...  
  
Kira: (nudging the still comatose Sisko with her foot) Maybe we should call Dr. Bashir now...I don't think Captain Sisko's breathing...ohh...what the hell, its probably too late anyway.  
  
Did they all live happily ever after? Who knows...but I think that and will be for ever!! (ATTENTION: V-CHIP now in operation, to protect your innocent eyes from being corrupted by crude and vulgar behavior, and basically anything stupid or totally utterly strange. ) 


End file.
